The Black Star

A blog dedicated to the series of unfortunate events that always happen around me. Not so much unfortunate, more like funny.. but unfortunate sounds better.

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Thursday, October 12, 2006

Back to Kramer Ways

So I slept on my hands last night. Notice I said on--not with you pervy bastards. You know what that means... that's right, when I woke up this morning they were numb. I couldn't feel a thing. I couldn't hold a thing. Not a good position to be when your alarm clock is going off like mad and you can't do anything to stop it. In fact, you can't even pick it up from the night table. By the time I manage to grab it I'm sure my flatmates are awake (how could they not?) but that doesn't mean it's over... now I have to turn it off by flicking a tiny switch at the back... again, not an easy task when you can't feel your hands. I hope that by swinging it from side to side it will shut up but it's useless. So I start to move my hand across the back of the clock hoping I hit the switch by mistake... and I do--eventually. Before I got to turn it off, though, I managed to change the time and the alarm time. Oh, yeah, and wake up my flatmates and my neighbours.

Then when I'm on my way out I'm stumbling with the keys and my bag so I'm not looking in front of me. When I do look down to see where the hell I am, I see this ginger thing that spooks the bejesus out of me. The noise it made was some kind of "meauuuuuu!" It was that bastard ginger cat that hangs around our block... the one that almost got run over by a car the previous day. I think about kicking it, but I figure it belongs to someone and I might get sued (and Jimmy likes that cat, so he probably wouldn't have been very happy about it). Oh well, I can only hope a car runs it over sometime today :)

So yesterday I was "invited" to enjoy some free cake. I was technically invited, but I'm pretty sure it was because I forced myself to be invited... if that makes sense. Anyway, once I was there I felt bad about stealing the cake... but I did end up having some amazing carrot cake. Anyway, that was the day when I met Jimmy's friend, Rebecca. For some reason I don't think I caused a very good impression (which might explain why I've only just met her). For starters, I introduced myself as her stalker (I had added her randomly in Facebook the other day just to piss Jimmy off) and that didn't seem to go down very well. Her face was priceless, though, so it was well worth it.

Things didn't get much better when I dropped my mobile on the floor with a loud thump. Everyone went quiet and stared at me, even though I tried to dissimulate (not very well, apparently). Then they just laughed. After that moment a speech-impediment epidemic hit me. I decided to call it a day and when I turned around to leave I bumped into a chair, again creating a reasonable thump noise. I don't know what their reaction to that last incident was because I just walked away as fast as I could.

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