The Brown Bomber

So today I went out for the first time in a while. I haven't gone out because I can't be arsed to, but I think the real reason is the cold... yes, I'm a wimp, but I have three choices. I can go out without a coat and be confortable, go out with a coat and live, or stay in and do something in the warmth of my flat. Mind-boggling decision, innit?

Anyway, I went on the weekly (?) Rock Society pub crawl... even if it doesn't happen every week (and hasn't happened since last year). Ah, yes, good old RockSoc pub crawl, those are always the best. I usually go with Ryan, my flatmate, but this time I got a call from Steve (he who shall live with me next year) inviting me for a pint down at the pub. I tell him that I've already got plans, but he is welcome to join, seeing there should be alcohol. He agrees. Little did I know this was going to be a legendary night... not for him, though.

So well, it all goes as planned for the first couple of hours, we drink up, we talk, we fuck about... we see this very shite band play... see this aweful Sweedish-ale-drinking band play (they said the first thing they did when they got to Newcastle was drink some Newcastle Brown) and cover Paranoid (Black Sabbath for those of you who shamefully don't know) in a really shite way and then cover a Bob Marley song in an even crappier way (you can tell I wasn't too fond of them, can't you?).

Anyway, the point is that we meet some people and stuff, and we finally head to the club. There we sit around for a bit and drink and yell and whatnot. Then a beer fight breaks out and we start smashing each other's bottles, which errupt and soak the table... good fun. Then we start taking ale shots, and Steve starts taking off-the-table-with-cigarrettes shots (yep, the guys made him... he didn't know what was going on, though). I end up with my jeans soaked in ale and whatever... during all this time Steve was hitting on a girl that was with us. And he really gets into her. Only problem is that she's with her brother, who seems to be very protective of her. You should now realise that his odds are awful as fuck. Anyway, he can't break through (after hours of "working his magic") so he decides to leave before more of his pride is smashed (too late, though).

At the dancefloor it got very heated, though. Smashing against people and doing all kinds of weird shite... I managed to do the Angus roll around thing perfectly in one of my outbursts... and I got an ovation from everyone who saw (half the dancefloor). That was my highlight... for a while.

The girl that I had my eye on started hitting on Ryan... and Ryan being the good mate that he is didn't do anything. Well, more because he has a girlfriend. Very loyal bloke he is. I got to talk to her for a while outside (where I could barely hear because of my deafness and barely talk because of my receeding voice).

Back to the time when Steve leaves. We call him to see where the hell he is, and he tells us that he's left and yada yada yada. Then I get a text about five minutes after saying that he lost his wallet. We start to look for it, and after a while we conclude it's not in the club. He comes down personally to look for it himself, but no joy. So we go outside and retrace his steps to see if we can find it in the street (yep, in the freezing Newcastle, how good friends are we?) and well, after retracing his steps two times and looking in very dodgy places (including the alley where he took a piss). He gives up and we start walking home.

So not the best of nights for Steve. Lost his wallet and the girl (although I told him that he didn't lose the girl because he technically never had her... that didn't seem to make things better for some reason lol). He said he didn't have anything valuable in his wallet, just his cards which he could cancel in the morning... and his Uni card which will cost him a tenner. So well, he isn't very happy with how things are going, and Ryan tells him that at least he'll be able to have a good night's sleep in his warm bed when we get back. Sure enough. But wait, when he checks he doesn't have his keys either! He couldn't've lost his keys too, could've he? Ohh, yes.

So we let him stay at our place while his flatmate gets back, but after a while I call it a night as it's around 4 in the morning and I happen to have a lecture at 9. So well, no clue what he did, as soon as I find out I'll post. I think he spent the night elsewhere, as one of my flatmates buzzed him in while I was having breakfast... so he might've gotten lucky, who knows? Everyone knows girls like guys who are vulnerable... and punks. But yeah, not the best of nights for Steve, who lost a girl, his wallet, and his keys.

For the rest of us, though, it was a really good night. I can't feel my neck, I can't speak, there's a loud ringing in my ears, we were mightly close to passing out in the club... ah, good good night.