E M O

So Jimmy and I were talking about nothing as usual, and this very interesting concept came up. We wondered how Gillette's profits would be enhanced if they marketed to a new segment. What if Gillette was to market its razor blades (perhaps with some minor changes) to emos? I mean, there's a potentially big untapped market there. And with the new five blade razor (Fusion) the emos would be sorted! Pleasure (or relief, whatever) of five in only one slice! Jimmy pointed out that emos would grow more resistant as time went on, so well, we'll have to see six and seven blade razors marketed towards them, but they'll slit that wrist when they come to it.

So we're at HMV a few days later picking out presents for Jimmy's parents, and I see the new My Chemical Romance and tell Jimmy I'll buy it for him (he's been thinking of turning emo recently... and yes, I know, My Chemical Crapness aren't really emo, but whatever, just go along for the fun of it) and he says he's not sure. And then the best idea came to me. What if emo albums were sold with razors? Now that's a strategy, I believe! "This album is razor-inclusive. Try the new Gillette Fusion for free!" That would definitely sell.


Note: If you're emo I apologise--please don't cut yourselves or cry over this, it's mostly a joke. And don't write any hate poetry either!!