Storytellers II

So more stories from across Mexico. As you can see, my life is not very amusing at the moment.

As we arrived at Kissimmee, we were looking at the different places the city? had to offer. Suddenly there's Hooters. Well, not that amusing, actually, but then we see one of the offers they have: "Buy an adults meal and get a kids shirt for free!" Uhm, what? So if you buy an adult meal (who knows that that consists of) you can get a shirt for you kid? What kind of business is this? Do you really want your kid running around with a shirt that says "Hooters"? And in the conservative US? I wonder what the promotion is now: "buy an adults meal and get toys for your kids!" Aja...

So Cal is in the pool and I'm just going about my business outside the pool (I don't really fancy pools or beaches, fyi) and I see this rubber ball on the floor. I grab it and throw it in the pool, right next to Cal (it almost hit him). I'm expecting him to say "you bastard, you almost hit me" or something along those lines, when he says "dude, you're getting me wet!" I was shell-shocked. "How the hell am I getting you wet? You're in the pool and I am getting you wet!?" Who knows what he was thinking... or his definition of "wet."

Storytellers

So nothing's been going on lately and I don't have much to write. I'll let you in on a story from the US. I swear it's true.

Cal and I ordered our iSkin's online because well, the ones we wanted we couldn't find anywhere. So it says that it'll ship in 3-6 days. Why so long? They ship it from Canada (had I known that I wouldn't have bought it... damn Canadians). So well, we order them and right afterwards I start thinking and I figure that that 6th day is the day we leave to come back to Valencia. Not very smart, is it? So in theory we should have it if they send it 3-5 days. It's the US, that's what they do, right?

Well, so we wait until the last day (that 6th day) to go pick them up. It's around 11:30 and we go to the office, and when we get there they tell us that they're not there. Why? Why!? It's the 6th day and this is the US! It should be there? Well, the thing is, when they say 3-6 days it is implied that it's 3-6 business days. Is that right? So you can imply that when they say 3-6 days it's business days but you can't imply that when someone gives you coffee it's hot? These Americans amuse me... anyway, it turns out that "6th" day was really the 4th day. Bummer.

So we start on our shameful walk back to the van. Cal tells me to walk slowly because maybe the UPS guy will come. I laugh at him but go along with his ""plan"" because, well, honestly there's nothing else we can do. So we walk to the elevator, go down, then walk towards the van when Cal suddenly yells "hey, the UPS guy!" I turn around and see nothing and I curse at him for making me look. Then he tells me that he's serious, that the UPS guy is there. So I look again and this time I see him. Just minutes, literally, before we were bound to leave the UPS guy arrived with our stuff! What are the odds of that?

I'm back!

So I'm back from my holiday in the United States of Paranoia. Lots of funny things happened there, and I did write them down, but I don't have them with me right now (Cal, if you're reading this, give them back! I know you don't want me to write about them!). I'll just say I had a great time and well, this entry will be on what happened today with my friend Ercole.

Just one thing on the USP. They got my fingerprints when I entered the country, and when I was leaving I had to take off my shoes because of "security issues." That's the second lowest it can get. I had to walk through the metal detector crap in my socks (yes, they let me keep them on... I was surprised too). How embarassing is that? I wonder what's next. They'll probably make you take all your clothes off except your underwear. In a few years when the USP becomes more liberalistic in their ideals (LOL) they'll make you walk out completely naked. Bastards.

Anyway, I was talking with Ercole about some stuff, and he told me that he wanted to get the new U2 album, but he didn't want to pay for it. I told him that that was illegal and an unethical thing to do, that he should apologize immediately and go use iTunes and pay his 99 cents per track)*. Then we started talking about his soon-to-be-wife for some reason. There's a pause. Then he says "so, where should I do it through?" I know what he's asking me, but it was just to clear of an opportunity to miss: "I don't know, man, anywhere... it's your woman." I think he got a bit pissed at me, but whatever, he got it. Ah, the bastard me.

We then later went to watch a movie and while coming out we had to pay the parking (in the USP you don't have to pay parking... interesting). When it's our turn to pay, he hands the ticket and the money to the woman behind the counter, and all of a sudden she screams and jumps back. I though she had been freaked out by Ercole, but then, she wouldn't react that way, would she? What was all the fuzz about? There was a small tiny microscopical beetle on her keyboard. I'm not exaggerating. Talk about overreacting. Finally some guy from the line reached it and flicked it away. I wonder how she'd react before fainting when coming face to face with a cockroach.

You know what I just noticed? cockroach is the complete opposite when translated into Spanish. Cockroach; Cucaracha... interesting...


*I wouldn't say a thing like that. I just had to put that so that the US government would arrest me and make me walk through the prison door in my undies.